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Jan 01, 2003.... A rather quiet start to the page, no background, no pics, standard text.  If you had been in Doggie's until all hours this morning you'd know that we're lucky to have a page at all, such was the the craic.  To add to my sickness, I now have to trudge to the Panto in the Opera House, Jack and the Beanstalk no less.  Anyway ususal hype will start soon...Jan 04.... The numbness is nearly gone now and I'm nearly back on solid food again!  Jeez, you wouldn't see as many Irish coffees in Bunratty during a good summer.  Myself, Frankie and the artist formerly known as Pepe hung on 'til all hours along with our esteemed hosts.  Nice one, again, Dogster & Fionnuala, the recovery period gets longer each year.....Jan 07..... Turn off the two lights and lock the door after ya!!!......Jan 11...... Last call for Alcohol!!!! Good to see Sean O Sullivan made it back - just goes to show the guest page is full of comments from real people, idn't dat right Bucks!!!.....Meanwhile the serious conversation of the night refers to the price of skins - local roving reporter Peetah  reports that prices downtown vary from c25 to c28 while Ticknock prices reach c35 in the local HyperMarket, all the Skall wants is just one but, alas, Micka has given all his to the Beach Boy - no skins in this pub..... Lest I forget happy birthday Marcella - kiss kiss ...Jan 13... Another musical legend lost over the weekend as one of the seventies most prolific band members went to that famed recording studio in the sky.  Probably the lesser known of the group, he was an integral part of the seventies 'pop' scene, which heralded the dreaded glam rock - Mickey Finn, rest in peace!......Jan 18... Good to see Elmer back in full flight......Jan 28....... It’s oh so quiet.... Feb 01...The upcoming Hamster’s Quiz has already received one 'packed' entry from the Bowler, Mick Mul & the bassist - to counteract this we have hit back the mighty John Dav, myself and the bould Billy McMurtry (If you are reading this Billy, welcome aboard) ...Feb 02...Heartiest congratulations to young Mike Carlos on Demons last gasp win in the National Cup Final in Dublin's Basketball Arena, long overdue .........Feb 04...... Unbeknown to only myself, the Talking Clock has spent the last week in the local Southern Health Board Hotel recovering from a little slip, trip & fall that occurred on his way home last Monday.  Now recuperating in the Orthopaedic Hospital, a broken hipped, dislocated shouldered, arm steel plated Jimeen has been able to free more beds in the last seven days than the Minister for Health has done in his entire term of office by simply boring the majority of patients to a slow death.  The term 'Can't smoke, can't drink, you look awful' takes on a completely new meaning!.........Feb 16....... T he Hamsters quiz, now in its third year, saw the Dav, myself and Jonathan Clueless put up a brave fight against last years finalists before being overran.  The Talking Clock is still recuperating, still surrounded by the living dead and gasping for a fag, a pint and a bit of the other!  Padgeen Lloyd, the original smayshebag, recently seen back in the Donkey on his annual visit.  Meanwhile the guestbook has come to life again, and even has a Situation Vacant column - ain't that right, Sharon!  And finally, folks, in true gossip style March 8th to see the Titanic raised?.........Feb 22... Good advice is admonished amongst the unwashed in downtown Cobh but we, eventually, take the hint and bestow our expertise amongst the unwilling in Ticnoc (sans Lichie, who has the Booooobonic Plague or a flu or sumptin')  Belated happy birthday on the 20th to Rosie for the fortysumpthingth!..  Hi to Joan & Mike, see ye next year - don't forget d'Amandolin!!.........Feb 22...(cont).... On a more serious (!) note, Sharon (complete with swimmin' pool and nearby bar in sunny San Pedro in L.A.) is still looking for an au pair   All queries via guestbook please..........Feb 25....... The Rolling Stones Mobile Recording Unit moves quietly into the back room for the first take of the long awaited Live at the Donkey CD........ Feb 27....... Much talk about the title for the Donkey CD, suggestions on a stamp, please!........ Mar 02.... Hey Tony & Jackie (jackie@.radiokerrie.kom) please answer the guestbook...Mar 02 (cont)..... I was only joking 'bout the CD title, stop stuffin’ the guestpage with immature headings... Spenn had a grand tale 'bout George W., Saddam and Danny Wallace - alas due to new 'Freedom of Information Acts' we cannot divulge any information on current governmental members...however, suffice to say I knew Danny Wallace when he was a ... (we never forget our roots, Danny). Hank & Mickey wet the child's head and Olga wets her own...Mar 03...Pathetic replies so far for the CD title, is there anybody out there with a reasonable suggestion?...Mar 06...Those of you who do not regularly keep in check with the Cobh links page will not know that the official Rory Gallagher page (www rorygallagher.com) makes its debut this Monday to coincide with the new CD (just check it out and buy the CD)....... Bad an' all as the web page is recently, looks like 'twill get worse as I'm off to West Cork Rally (www.westcorkrally.com) next weekend and the weekend after I'm off to James Taylor in Dubtown (www.i'mofftojamestayloratthepointdotcom.com) so, in the meantime folks, keep signing the guestbook and don't let the little man in your brain get you down!!!!...Mar 07... Smond, you're bang on biy.  The entry in the Guestpage has completely disappeared.  Nuttin to do with me as the page is only a link from here and will accept anything ('cept naughty words like boobies and you f********g g*****t*, w***e*, m***e****k*r, and other words like Gu***e**, M**ph*'s and Beam**h) - so there!!  .....Mar 08..... Seein' that the peoplesrepublicofcork site has a page in the Echo every Thursday (bad news when the 'Echo' have to copy a witty website, take old court reports, The Star's Cork schoolboys football reports, and anything else they can purloin) the Donkey page might get one in the Wednesday edition (and free with The Great Island News the following day). Ah, never mind, copious amounts of the black stuff taken...... Has Lichie woken up yet, having gone back to the 'hood to hang with the bros....Mar 10...If anyone knows what the hell I was talking about in the last paragraphy, you might give me a shout as I haven't the foggiest...On a more sober note the excellent new Rory Gallagher website is now up and running to coincide with the new CD...And as we're talking about Cork musicians and very well done to John Spillane on his recent award in which he managed to fend off Sinead O Connor, Chrusty Hoore, Altan, The Chieftains et al,  his very interesting guestpage is worth a look......and finally, Freddie White pays a wee visit to these shores again in June.......Mar 17.......Back in time for Paddy's Day after an excellently organised (and why wouldn't it be) West Cork Rally, a small amount of drink in Shanley's (ably assisted by the innkeeper's wife Phil and offspring Emer), nice food and a decent bed in the Quality hotel in Clonakilty.  Had to share a room with Magoo who slept soundly and silently the first night but caused the hotel to be evacuated on the second night when his snoring was mistaken for an explosion! Mar 18..... I’ve promised that I wouldn't mention the following - Karl's threat of violence if I mentioned his 'hair' cut, Olga's babysitter's telephone a/c, Phylis' telephone no., Olga's hairbrush, tomorrow is Tuesday, Olga's stance on the current terrorist situation (i.e. No Bush), Mick’s 10c rise on the pint, Olga’s nail varnish, the twins birthday celebration last night, Olga's ruination of her leather pants, etc...... You will have noticed that I barely mentioned the increase on the pint - this was done behind my back as I was away for the weekend and Micka expected me not to notice (knowing that there is no cartel in Cobh it is safe to say that this increase is/will not be introduced in any other establishment in the Great Island over the coming/in the previous days.  If the said price increase has happened, it is purely councidenral!)  And, finally, don't mention the war... Mar 26...Some of Cobh's oldest and finest were seen at the Point last Saturday night for the man from North Carolina (not you Paddy Crouch!) enthral the crowd with goodies as Sweet Baby James, You've Got a Friend, etc... the hair might be gone but the voice is still the same..... Needless to say we visited Dublin's version of Killarney, Temple Bar, where the price of a pint costs a wee bit more than here!....If anyone's looking for orchids, Sharon Keely has loads - but might still have an opening for an au pair!!! At least, the cooking might be OK, Sharon......If someone sees Karl (and I'm sure they will!), ask him to drop Sharon a line........Mar 27....Tickets are now available for the backroom for Sunday afternoon's match against the Brits (Don't tell Cahilly 'tis only a match).....Book yours now.  Olga's in position already!.....Mar 29.. Welcome to your face, Lichie!!!!.. Loads of guffaw guffaw in position tonight as the annual onslaught of Ealingrugbywankers takes place, complete with cricketer's geansaís.....Please don't mention Carol....Apr 01....Despite recent jokes and ads in the local newsletter regarding the sale of Barry's guitar, he tells me that the said item is now genuinely up for sale.  For those of you not in the know, the guitar is an original 1969 Fender Jazz (made in USA, not like the current Japanes Fenders), comes in an original Fender case, Marshall 100W cabinet and new Vox T-25 bass amp.  Barry has decided to call it a day where music is concerned and no reasonable offer will be refused for the said items...A few days after Apr 01....CD update - over two dozen good tracks taken from the four nights recording which are now being whittled down to the final 12 or so that will make the final cut.....Lichie only just now realises that this is really him and gets very religious.  Nothin' 'bout Olga this week!!!..Apr 11..What an excellent night of Beatles tunes from Paul Hannon and Hugh Dillon, ably abetted with various vocal harmonies from Smond, The Dav, Jim W, Friday night drunks, the fella whose first name is J o h n and his second name is G i l le y, and not forgetting the barman from Cobh who didn't know his Linda from his Yoko!!!  It's a pity the band had an audience!!!!!!  Meanwhile news reaches me that an amazing 18+ tracks have been squeezed into the Donkey CD, which should be available on all good shelf by June / July this year.....2 bits of good news outa Micka in the one night!!!!!! What next?.Apr 13.. Leicester Tigers....Miaow.......Ecstacy mixes with agony as halfway thro' the match Olga learns her beloved goldfish is deceased, no more, a stiffy, dead, but nice in a batter with chips.  The Mouse returns with a lump of grass (origins questioned!) and a singsong as well! Apr 14..... Good morning & Happy Smondday  I won't mention how old you are but IF a horse is measured in hands, and IF a hand was decreed to be a certain amount of years, then you would be nearly five hands - hope the Chinese was alright!!...James Hayes returns and asks me what this page is all about - for once I'm stuck for an answer.  Munster's celebrations continue as James, Motty, the harmonious Olga and the man that couldn't sing get their tools dropped off by taxi.  All await the return of Cahilly (Note: if you're from Leicester and you come across some bloke standing on a milk crate, tearing up beer mats and reciting 'Little Nell', please throw him in a letter box and send it to here....Fri 18..And what's good about it?Apr 22....Anyone get strange messages at 8.23 on Sunday morning with reference to Polish coffees, all replies to Fionnualagh please....  P Crouch & Kay Bob have, at last, their own website.  Try www.strictlycleananddecent.com for all the latest info...Apr 26......Nice to see Micka has opened a B & B in Scourge's Corner on Fridays, a place where you can rest your weary (sp)eyes and get 40 winks! .Apr 27.7.7.7... good to see Fionnualagh back, as herself and the Dogster seemed Poles apart for a while (sorry, but I couldn't resist it).Apr 28...Site is closing down for a week (what else is new, says you)..Should be back around May 8th or so....until then....May 10......Micka buys a new set of wheels to celebrate his first soccer match...Nadine gives the Stretch another bundle of joy, congrats to both...May 11....Some more nice gigs about to happen in Sirius including Tir na nOg (the original), should be another good un...May 15....No point in updating the page lately as the guestbook is more amusing, fashion police an' all....As another daughter, Éadaoin, is taking her marriage vows over the weekend don't expect too much updates over the coming days.  Open invite to all and a nice band to boogie the night away with plenty of Kinks, Manfred Mann etc to keep you buzzin'  See you there....May 17...........Kelly's Fashion Emporium set to take off even more now that the future Miss Cork is a barmaid......Congrats to Rachel.....  I missed John Dav's soiree last night, due to unavoidable matters, but I was there in spirit.......It would be very unfair of me to mention the four sailors (!) who have returned, boatless, from Falmouth, or some such port in the SW of engerland.  Seeing that they're getting terrible slagging at the mo', I'll not add to their misery.  So Spenn, Kavs, Terry Murph & Billy Mac I won't tell anyone...See ye later folks, have a wedding to go to........May 20........Slowly returning to full health after the weekends celebrations, 'tis as if I've been away for Donkey's Years........May 26....The long awaited release of 'Donkey's Ears', the Roaring Donkey Sessions, took place in a packed bar last Friday evening.  Containing over 20 tracks the CD is a must for anyone's collection and is available from your local friendly barman for the price of Euro15.  A track by track review will soon be posted for those miserable shower who haven't purchased....May 29...The Donkey goes full frontal.....Yes folks, a full page on the release of the CD graces the front page of this weeks local news letter and leaves us in no doubt of who was there before Micka...more music matters....a plethora of fine gigs at Sirius over the coming weeks starting with Spanish guitarist Agustin Maruri this Sunday....June 12....Sales of Donkeys Years continue to rise as an announcement of it reaching platinum sales is expected soon....The 52 year old Talking Clock stayed longer than expected one evening this week resulting in him unwilling to go home and face his Mum!!!  Dinny McGrath returns to the stage at Sirius tonight for another in the Unplugged series.....half the page dissappeared for a while, but we should be back again, now.....Fri 13....Birthday boy Denis McGrath turned in a mighty rare performance last night at Sirius.  Finishing off the show he did a compact set including two from 'the new CD' and an encore of Sacco & Vanzetti.  All in all a very enjoyable night that included a stunning performance from Alan Swanwick and the God Fearing Folk (one for the future here, folks)  and Emily McHarg andBrian Clifford.  See the Sirius webpage for future upcoming gigs including a Donkeys Years live performance....Jun 27... Lichie becomes the victim of a 'gotcha' as he is presented with his travelling pack for the Munster stickfighting final 'twixt the Rebels and the blaaa eaters.  Now suitably attired with his blue and white wig, flag and cape the bould Lichie can now face his first final looking like the rest of the langers there.  The travelling kit includes fresh blaas (without the hang), virgin tee shirt (not many of them in Cobh!) and sponsors kit.....As some took to Cork for krusty hoor others supported their local venue and saw a good set from Phonograph and, soundwise, an 'I've heard better' one from Juute.  Both of their CDs are well worth a listen, though...05 Jul ....Updates taking longer and longer - my apologies to Janet & Mrs Damo......rumours abound about an impromptu seisiun last night which included, Jeezus help us, a rendition of aloaduvbollix from Lichie, who was so intoxicated that he actually managed to sing three lines in chordial sequence - the other forty eight lines managed to find the lost chord fifteen times.  Wot a load of blaaaaa!!!...  In the meantime, Barry O Mahony has come up with a dinger of an idea to pass away your wintery Monday nights and raise a few bob for a local good cause ....... watch this space ........July 17....For those of you still watching the space, nothing has happened.  I must meet Barry again and see whether it was annother of those drunken hazes or was it really an idea.  I must try and get out more often!  A reminder on those gigs at Sirius - starting next week with Tir na nOg and for the following weeks sees a serious crop of musicians play the venue.  Book early people....Jul 22....Good to see Ann Marie Dav back form the Billabong and pleased to hear that she planted a tree in my name to atone for the one she purloined early on in the year...I always wanted a growth in an Australian bush!.....Latest rumour concerns a DVD release of music recorded  not a short time ago, current working title is The Donkey, Years Ago....more on that soon....Jul 25.....Gone rallying again this weekend folks, so enjoy Manfred's nuptuals and Tir na nÓg....Aug 03....Rodrigo y Gabriela, with Zoë Conway and Ruth O Leary on fiddles, literally blow away the audience at Sirius - anyone with tickets for Monday are in for a super treat...along with the added bonus of Paul Hannon & Hugh Dillon's set of fab four favourites....Paul & Hugh play the Donkey next Saturday with all your Beatle faves.....Meanwhile Lichie returns from the camping trip, Manferd & Paula from the horneymoon, Olga still moans abouth the boring web page and Hank still looks gorgeous..........Aug 09......Not to be outdone by the Ship of Fools, the Donkey proudly announces the, soon to be launched, Roaring Donkey Official Historical Tour.  The story of the owner and his incredible oddyssey from stacking shelves in Dunnes Stores to fame as philantropist barman, the fulfilling of his dream.  The artefacts, the background and insight into the vision and development that created this incredible edifice to rugby wankers, session musicians and social history.  Contact the Minister for Health for further details. ....Aug 17..... The lost sailors find their way and silence their critics as Alaister Murphy's Wombat crew bring the boat home to a class win in Schull recently.  There is no truth in the rumour that they were supposed to be racing in Dingle!!...Aug 20...It has been officialy announced in the Barony that Cahilly is now official age & national I D checker.  It is now the responsibility of the customer to prove that he/she is over the legal age for alcohol consumption.  This is now rigidly enforced, especially to those after hour visitors in the blue uniforms....Aug 25...Most of Toppa' moved to Cobh on saturday to bid farewell to John y Rosa who have rightly decided that living in Spain is a better option than here.  A great evening was laid on, copious amounts (liquids & solids!) were had by all and some strange body movements were seen on the dancefloor.  We won't mention any scourging that took place as there's not enough room on the page to even synopsise it!!!  To John & Rosa, thanks for a mighty evening and the best of luck to you in Espana.  We'll see ye when ye return on the hols - Bon Voyage...sep 01....Barry becomes the official booking agent for Ireland's Eurovision hero Mickey Joe Harte....Mark Saturday  Oct 18th in your diary folks for another mad evening....details soon but we can confirm that half a band have guaranteed to provide the music on the night!  All for a good cause, as always...Sep 04.....The next few Friday nights at Sirius have some nice gigs.  Starting tomorrow night the bould boys & girls from the Donkey's Years CD make an appearance as a fundraiser for Sirius at 8pm.  Bí ann gan teip. ...Sep 05....And a mighty gig it turned out to be Ladies & Gentleman - between the fine sponsored products from  Micka, some great tunes and songs from the fee less Donkeys Years gang and no mean effort from the near voluntary gang at Sirius - all in all a smashing gig.  Pity Dinny MacRat decided to get carted off during the week - get well soon Denis, or else I want my money back for the Hanly gig!!!  Meanwhile back at the ranch: I never knew Johnny Huds was a teacher.... the newly formed Friday night womens bridge club folds after thirty minutes....Oct 18th is still on.......Is Neil Diamond really Johnny Gilley in disguise?  And last, but not least, The Barrs proves he is, undoubtedly, the third best singer, ever, of 'Fairytale of New York' (after Kirsty & Shane)... and there's Lichie babysitting while all this is going on.......Sep 07.....Only another 40 or so hits before the page reaches 20,000 hits....are ye all as sick as me or wha??.....Sep 19...The Bowler was asking me tonight how the web page was going....sez i, I don't know - I waddent dere meself for awhile....Aneeeway... Michael Hanly did his first five fingered gig in four months, and what a fine gig it was too, as Barry was playing at a party for a fifty year old.../.Plans are well in hand for the opening of the Dogster's (Finnualagah's??) kitchen soon whileplans are well advanced (!) for Olga's night on the 18th Oct. . . . Keep an eye on the Sirius Page for some nice upcoming gigs, 'specially Maria Doyle & The Two of Us...see ya soon from the pencil & paper man............Hope all is well in Lenoir and 'specially in Ticknock Way..Sep 29....All is AOK in North Carolina as Ticknock escapes hurricane Isabel...We're thinking about ya, Dogster.....Spenny hits the big four oh with a little knees up in the Pirates....and Lichie gets a virus, again!!!!..Oct 01.....Alas, I missed the return of The Barrs and Smond from the Fatherland but, thankfully, some good ol' tourists were there to welcome them back and have gone back home with great stories from The Roaring Monkey!!??!! .Oct 02...Good to see the Dogster out and about tonight.....Meanwhile it's 39 in Tunisia.....The Talking Clock is still in hospital....half eleven closing just means Cahilly gets drunk earlier - mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa with apologies to all the Mexicans......Last, but not least, I have a young daughter, and possible future son-in-law, going to Aussie next week who have tickets for the Aussie Rules games but have failed to get same for the World Cup - desperately seeking tickets for Ireland's games or the Aussie Adelaide game.. .Oct 02...Usual bouts of late night confessions abound in the Donk.....I couldn't really take any more of The Ship of Fools,'words can't describe' and all that but try dump, dive, numb, soulless - and that was AFTER drink, what a Kip.....I make a brave attempt at the World Speedwobble record but the Dogster's table gets in the way.....STILL LOOKING FOR TICKETS........ .Oct 13...Don't forget Barry's surprise party tonight, organised by himself and featuring the cream of Cobh's musicians and others all coming together to celebrate his 54th..Oct 17.....Don't forget tomorrow (Sat) night folks as there is a special fundraising night, music by the NightOwls.....raffles, spots and all that.....serious deep digging of pockets expected.....Oct 19(very early a.m.)..The clientele of the Donkey continue to excel themselves and proceed to raise a stunning Euro2,500+ for CABAS Cork -  abetted by another almighty performance by the NightOwls aka Jim Wilson, John Crone, Martin Dowell, the universally famous Barry O Mahony and extra special guest from Waterford Cormac Kavanagh....yours truly nearly managed to get everyone's name taken by the fella in the yellow jacket who asked me outside and told all who'd listen to him that he'd review my passport, and I don't even smoke!!! The night was made all the more enjoyable by Doggie's attendance and we're sure he'll be back in plenty of time for the NewYear usuals...Oct 19(early p.m.)....The party animals continue with tales of breakfast eating while lying down, Barry's 'wine' teeshirt and exaggerated stories of myself....Looks like Christmas might be delayed as Santa's on the piss...Nov 01....Jeez the year is nearly gone, folks.  The usual amount of ghouls and bloodsuckers were visible last night, though have to admit that Smond's new dentures were quite fetching, and Lichie played guitar.....Actually watched the rugby again today!...Nov 07...Another surprise party tonight for the bould John Dav who celebrates half a century of life with a little soiree at 9.  Dress formal and all are welcome....Nov 21....Hibernation time, so little updating.....Haven't seen the Dav since the celebratory evening, probably still playing Burl Ives CDs......The impressive takings for the CABAS evening were presented at a cheese and wine reception...only 33 days to Santee...Dec 07..Next Friday is the seasonal 'Ticksgiving' night.  As usual entry is by wrapped gift for boy or girl (no cheats, please) or else by financial penalty.  Dress is optional, yet seasonal, and fancy dress is more than welcome - which means some of ye reprobates won't have to dress up at all.  Music is by the NightOwls, reforming again for one night only.  Monies raised are for local charities.  Be there....Dec 23....Nearly another one down, guys.  For all those at home and away best wishes for the festive season and see you in the New Year..Dec 24....Jayz, 'twas like Christmas there tonight, couldn't stand the pace and had to retire and smell the spiced beef....Dec 26.....In case you need to remove some cobwebs after the festivities you might not do too much better than plotting your wits in the Pirates/Rushbrooke Rowing Club Car Treasure Hunt next Monday, 2.30 first car away from the Paddocks....

 

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